Happy yet disappointed

Emotions are funny things.  Today, for the first time, I competed in the Womens Head of the River race on the Thames – a 4.25 mile race from Chiswick Bridge to Putney Pier.  Over 252 eights were entered this year – it’s a massive event in the female sporting calendar.  Last night I was really nervous – a feeling that had been building in my stomach for the majority of last week.  I kept trying to ask myself why I was getting nervous: we had had a couple of good outings, my stamina is better than it has been ina  long time and my technique needs a lot of work but isn’t too bad.  Of course none of that reassurance made me feel any better and, as predicted, I had a terrible nights sleep last night.

Once I got to the boat house where we boating this morning, my nerves started to disappear.  The mood of my squad was really quite motivating – they were all really excited about it.  Being around so many different clubs was great too – I forgot how nice a race day atmosphere is!  The feeling stayed with me out on the water and when we were racing, dare I say it, I even actually enjoyed myself (despite getting angry at myself for my obvious faux-pas and lapses in technique).

When I got home at 4pm though, I looked the results up online and we had dropped quite considerably in the rankings.  I’m not sure what that actually means – were we worse than last years crew, or has everyone else just done better?  And in either scenario I have to ask – why?  It’s left me feeling pleased with myself for completing my first ever eight’s head, but disappointed with the time.  The funny thing is, I’m not even sure what I was expecting.  It’s strange how you can be disappointed about something where you had no real expectations.  And then, of course, there is the fact I have only been rowing again for two months.  Am I being a bit hard on myself?  Too many thoughts and feelings for my poor tired brain today…

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About Me

About Me

Hello, I'm Angela. I'm Mum to two small people (4 & 1). I'm a Gardener, am houseplant obsessed and addicted to tea. By day I work in tech and also look after my littles. I'm trying to get our family to live a more sustainable life. I also have far too many opinions...hence the blog. You can read more about me here. You can also follow me on Twitter so you never miss a post. Hope you enjoy reading!

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