Happy February Little H,
Every month my Timehop pings up photos and tweets from the same day in previous years. This month I have now started seeing pictures of you from both last year and the year before. It seems so strange that we’re doing the third time round the calendar together now! Whilst it scares me that you are getting old so fast, I also love that you are so incredibly established in our life now!
You’ve tested us a lot this month. You’ve had a lot going on: change at nursery and growing and developing so much. It’s not surprising that you have acted out a bit. I’ve found it a massive shock though at times. There were points where it felt like I wasn’t able to understand you anymore. But in reality you needed daddy and me even more. Life seems to have calmed a little for you now and the milder weather has meant you can get outside more; you find the fresh air calming.
I have kept a Gratitude Journal since the start of 2016. Over that year it made a MASSIVE difference to my mental attitude; I now more naturally see the positive in things. My blog is a place to share thoughts and opinions. But more than that, it’s a place I record life so I can look back in the future and remember how things were. Whilst I will always have my private journals, in January 2017 I also decided to take a leaf out the books of other bloggers and create a monthly gratitude feature. Here’s what I am grateful for this month:
I’m going to open by stressing that I could not love my daughter anymore than I do; it’s not possible. I love every bone in her body through to every crazy hair on her little head. I know it doesn’t happen immediately for everyone, but I loved her from the moment she arrived. And as she has grown that love has changed and evolved from not only just being raw and maternal but also love for the little person she is becoming. I’m hoping that comes across in most of what I write on this blog. However, in the last few weeks I have found myself having moments where…*whispers under her breath*…I don’t always like her.
Whilst there is nothing stopping me from doing things in the garden throughout the year, let’s face it – from the end of October through until the first signs of spring it’s not that nice out there. I’m not a hermit through the winter. I’m outside all the time and Little H and I love going on walks on our mummy-H days. But going out in the garden is generally a depressing and muddy experience. I don’t want to churn up my lawn and I can’t do much to the shrubs and flower beds at the time of year. But then suddenly the weather will change slightly and without even noticing I’ll have my secateurs out and I’ll be pruning something. When that day arrives, I swear I feel my soul lift! Because nothing is better for my physical and mental health than some fresh air, sunshine and a bit of time with my plants.
Welcome to my monthly feature in which I share some of my favourite online articles for the month. I read a lot of blog posts and articles online and whilst I share a lot of them through tweets, it’s easy to miss them and hard to come back to them at another time. This is a list of my top ten reads for the month, a mixture of formal news articles and blog posts. Enjoy!
During Little H’s first year (or Mini H as she was at that time) I wrote several posts – at 3 months, 6 months and a year – about what kept me functioning and sane as a mother. Little H is now an old-and-wise 2 year old toddler. So it felt only fitting to reflect back on our second year together as mother and daughter. It’s been quite a fascinating experience to compare year one with year two. Whilst the first year was akin to some form of wilderness survival, scavenging for whatever we could find to get through the days, the second 366 days has been more like some toddler version of psychological warfare. So let’s dive in and find out what kept me not only functioning but happy!
Every month I share my ‘Five Favourite Finds’ for the month. They can be absolutely anything new that I have come across. The challenge: making sure I find five each month. Some months really do prove tougher than others but there is lots of fun had in the search. I’m using it to try encourage myself to find new things and also share my finds with you all to save you the leg work! So without further ado and in no particular order…
(This month has been a bit, err, challenging with Little H having a stomach bug then a cold. And to top it off Sam broke his hand falling from his bike so he can’t drive or lift Little H. So I’ve not ‘discovered’ as many new things. However, I have re-discovered a few items so I have decided to share those!)
I’ve read loads of birth stories in the last 9-ish months since getting involved in the mum blogging community. Before I became a mum I would have shied away from reading them because of the scary realities within; post-baby I felt drawn to them. They reminded me of when that fateful day arrived for me. I’ve debated writing my own birth experience so many times but I’ve never really found the words. It didn’t go ‘to plan’ and part of me feels like I didn’t manage to do it properly because I needed help; whilst the sensible part of me knows that’s not true it’s a feeling I can’t shake. On top of that – I don’t really remember a lot of it!
My darling little H,
Happy Birthday my lovely! You’re 2 years old. How can you be 2 years old already? I so vividly remember you arriving. Of being with you that first night in hospital and wondering what on earth I had to do. But now it’s so normal you being here. It’s so normal looking after you. I can of course remember life before you were here…but I can’t remember how it felt full. You’ve tested me with your behaviour this month; you want to be independent; you want to do as you please. It’s been tough at times but I absolutely love my days with you right now.
I wonder what you’ll be like another year on! It’ll be such a delight to find out. But hopefully not too quickly! Before that, here is all you accomplished in your last month as a 1 year old!
My-oh-my, I’ve watched some terrible TV programmes over the years. But, as with anything, it takes practice to become an expert at something. Learning select top telly viewage is no different. Haha! Of course, everything is subjective so if you ask Sam his opinion on some of these, I’m sure he’ll scoff. Time is in short supply now I’m the mum of a small though, so if I’m going to find the time to plonk my bottom on the sofa and indulge in some visual entertainment then I’m damn well going to watch what I like, cheesy or not!