All change

“It’ll be fine.”, “It’ll all be fine.”, “It’s going to be fine.”. These words are on repeat in my head right now. They are on repeat because the time has finally arrived – the end of my maternity leave. Next week Little Z starts her nursery settles. Then the following week she starts nursery full-time 3 days a week with her sister. Meanwhile, I go (*deep breath*) back to work.

Change is something I have struggled with my whole life. As I’ve grown up, it’s something I have actively learned to manage it and do it fairly well now. Change at work is no worry at all. Day-to-day change at home I can adapt and cope with for the most part. Change to our routine is easy enough on an ad hoc basis and tolerable for longer (as I well learnt from the Sam-broken-hand incident of 2017). But this change… Well this change is big. This change is a new person in our family who I have never left for more than a few hours her entire life. It’s going back to work after 13 months away from my job for the second time in 4 years. This change is not something my brain can easily process.

But as I regularly remind myself, I have done this before. Back then we adapted and found a new routine when Little H was born and I then went back to work. It was arguably far harder then as we’d never done nursery runs. I’d never done part time hours. I adjusted though and found renewed interest and challenged in my work, heightened by my limited hours. Sam and I got used to our pick-up and drop-off routines, splitting the responsibility between us. Most importantly, Little H developed a love of her nursery. Little Z is now so active and inquisitive now that I am as confident as I can be that she will ultimately thrive following in her sister’s footsteps.

It’s still all change though and I can’t help but be a bit anxious. We need to all lean and adjust to new roles, a new routine and new surroundings and that will cause some disruption to our family for a while. The first few weeks will be both physically and emotionally draining, especially for Little Z and I. We will get there though, I know we will. Despite knowing that, the anticipation lurks in the pit of my stomach making me question everything. And when it does, I just keep repeating to myself those words, reminding myself we will eventually be fine! Of course, in September Little H will start nursery and it will be all change again…

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About Me

About Me

Hello, I'm Angela. I'm Mum to two small people (5 & 2). I'm a Gardener, am houseplant obsessed and addicted to tea. By day I work in tech and also look after my littles. I'm trying to get our family to live a more sustainable life. I also have far too many opinions...hence the blog. You can read more about me here. You can also follow me on Twitter so you never miss a post. Hope you enjoy reading!

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