I really love being a mummy

**Soppy post alert** My posts usually see me grumble or moan a bit; Are usually sarcastic or cynical; Or are replaying event that have happened. I rarely find myself wanting to gush about feeling happy and contented. But walking to the car last Thursday, at the end of my working week, I felt a real flood of emotion hit me at the thought of seeing Little H within a few minutes. I found myself walking to the car a little faster with a smile on my face at the thought of the cuddle I’d soon receive.

MeWithLittleH

The last couple of weeks have been quite tough with H being quite ill. I was probably the most sleep-deprived I’ve been since we were in newborn mode; I was alone trying to deal with circumstances that scared me, just like newborn days. But unlike newborn days, I knew I could cope. I got-up in the night and checked her fever hadn’t got worse. I cuddled her in the wee hours when she cried and felt afraid on her own with a painful throat. I forced medication into her although she resisted because I knew she needed it to feel better. At no point through all of this did I find myself questioning my abilities or if this stress and disruption would ever end. Instead I found myself so grateful that I had a wonderful little person who was mine to care for and who wanted me with her! I felt like I was actually doing a good job at this ‘Mum’ thing.

planenap
Mummy = friend, food provider, toy carrier and portable bed

Recently I also had a tough day with H when some family were round and Sam was out. Little H was showing-off, as toddlers do, and in the process was getting over-excited and over-tired. As the day progressed she started venting her frustrations on me – Mummy who was imposing rules when she just wanted to have fun. I felt like enemy number 1 and so distanced from her in those moments. I can normally read her behaviour so well, but on this day I couldn’t and on top of everything else going on, it broke my heart a little. It sounds so trivial but sometimes the little things become too much.

Anyway, when Sam got home and our visitors left, I collapsed on the sofa with a tired headache. When Sam asked what had made me so tired, it brought me to tears; Crying was the only way I could get the build-up of emotions out. A very tired Little H wandered over and looked at me. Seeing my silent tears, her face went instantly from smiles to concern. I picked her up and she touched my damp cheeks. When the tears didn’t stop she started to look really upset; Her bottom lip came out and on the verge of tears herself she laid her heavy little head on my shoulder. In that second, her behaviour to me that day was forgotten. Her reaction to my upset made my heart burst; It reminded me of that unbreakable bond that exists between her and me.

BackAtTheBeginning
Back at the beginning!

Being a parent is hard. There is no escape from it. Even when you have a child-free day, they consume your thoughts. It’s not always a conscious thing but it’s there; I don’t worry about H when I’m at work but the panic is almost immediate if I realise I’ve left my phone on my desk. What if the nursery calls in that 15 minutes I’m away?!?! I

But in contrast to those hard times, there are all the smiles and cuddles. There are the moments where the simplest of things (pulling a funny face, rocking from side to side, dancing like a loon) can reduce Little H to a giggling heap. There are the all the looks of amazement and astonishment she gives me when she hears a noise she doesn’t recognise, sees a squirrel running around beneath a tree or she sees Anna get hit by Elsa’s magic for the zillionth time watching ‘Frozen’. I get to share so many of those moments with her. She seeks me out to share those moments with her, calling “Mummy” and then pulling to me to where she wants me by a finger gripped my her small, soft little palm.

RunningOff
Always on the go!

Since having my daughter, my view of the world has altered. I have always been a competitive and goal driven person. That hasn’t changed. But those feelings are tempered now by my desire to live in the present; To absorb and relish this time I have with my beautiful, funny and intelligent daughter. Whilst I hope that she and I will be together for a long, long time, these days where I am the centre of her world will be short lived. So I fully intend to continue throwing myself wholeheartedly into it. Because I’ll be quite honest…I love being a Mum!

Tammymum
Mummuddlingthrough
The Pramshed
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
My Petit Canard

40 comments On I really love being a mummy

  • This is so lovely. I’ve been there with my daughter; they act up all day and as much as we try to hold them in, the tears just flow. I started crying the other week and my daughter came over to me, looking really upset that Mummy was crying, which broke my heart, and she put her comfort blanket to my cheek like she does to herself when she is upset. She had been a little terror all day and stressing me out, but that moment made up for everything. Reminding me that even though it can be tough, being a parent is the best thing in the whole world and I wouldn’t change a thing!
    #familyfun
    Sam recently posted…Messy Monday, Crappy Crafter!My Profile

    • Absolutely. I think sometimes letting them see your raw emotion when you are upset actually helps them learn about the impacts of their actions. Shouting does nothing as it turns into a battle. But seeing that everything is too much seems to touch a nerve and bring you back together. Sounds like a lovely moment with your daughter too. So cute how she dried your tears with her blanket! Thanks for reading and commenting x

  • This is lovely. I have a toddler too and it’s so lovely when they’re starting to learn empathy and try to cheer you up. My LO says “K mamma?” (Are you OK mummy?) and it’s adorable. I do think it’s a lovely age. #FamilyFun
    Lucy At Home recently posted…Bloggers Bluff #06: Hooks and DragonsMy Profile

  • Parenting is something no one can ever prepare for. No matter how many books your read or help you ask for. It’s most definitely a learn on the job kind of job but it’s the most rewarding thing in the world. The smallest thing can turn our crappy moods around, even a mood that was caused by our perfect little creations. You sound as if you are doing a brilliant job, remember we are human. We feel all emotion, embrace it all and you can’t go wrong 🙂 #familyfun
    Lex Jackson recently posted…Homemade & Hearty: Slow Cooker Chilli for the Family.My Profile

    • You’re quite right in saying we need to remember we’re human. I know I have always been guilty of trying to do too much. I’m not better (probably worse) as a mum! I think it’s slowly becoming seen less as a weakness to show emotion. But life would be better for everyone if we could. Not showing emotion is so British!!! Thanks for commenting x

  • This is such a beautiful post and sums up just how I feel about my own children but in far better words than I could ever manage. My oldest is 7 now and my youngest 2 and it’s going far too fast, I really wish I could slow things down.
    #FamilyFun

    • Aww, thank you thats so kind of you to say. It’s a funny emotion the love you have for your kids. Probably the only people who can throw food on you, kick you then smile and end up getting a cuddle and a biscuit! Hope you are enjoying as many moments as you can because you’re right, it goes too fast! x

  • Such a beautiful post. Parenting is hard and there are days when we just get to the end of the day and want to cry, but those beautiful moments when you realise how strong that bond is between you and your child make everything feel right again. Glad that H is feeling better now. #FamilyFun
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…This is our normalMy Profile

    • Thank you for your lovely comment. Definitely amazing when you realise the strength of the bond. I know it’s that bond which causes her to lash out at me, because she feels safe. But doesn’t make it any easier to bear the brunt of her moods! Thanks for stopping by x

  • Ah what a lovely post – I agree being a parent is very hard but it is all those beautifully sweet moments that more than make up for it. Thanks for linking up #coolmumclub lovely x
    Talya Stone recently posted…Pumpkin recipe ideas: 5 things to do with pumpkinMy Profile

    • It is hard and it’s easy to focus on the negative sometimes. But whilst you can try to engineer happy memories through big days out etc, they come the little moments really! Thanks for your lovely comment x

  • Ahhhh so sweet. I’m with you – I love being a mum!! So sweet when they show empathy and can see you’re upset. Lovely post, great read/ #FamilyFun

    • Yeh, doesn’t stop them from kicking you and hitting you because you won’t let them eat more cheese unfortunately. But you can’t have everything! Thanks so much for commenting x

  • This is so lovely and sort of how I’ve been feeling at the moment. Seizing the day and making the most of my little while he is still little. Lovely post, Thanks for linking up to #familyfun
    Karen | TwoTinyHands recently posted…A Cycle Ride to Slaidburn YHAMy Profile

  • I’ve been back at work for over 18months now and to this day I still race from the office to the nursery to see my little man. I can’t help it. I too have had an emotional little cry and the concern and empathy he showed just melted my heart. It’s so easy to go from a high to a low in the matter of seconds with little ones. #coolmumclub

    • That’s lovely that you still dash to see him at the end of every day! I’m certain I’ll be the same. It’s a wonderful moment when you’re reunited! Thanks for reading and commenting x

  • This is such a touching post. I was with you in that moment when your daughter touched your damp cheeks and felt the emotions herself. I’ve been through that with my son too and it always breaks my heart that I oscillate between such strong emotions with him at times and that, in turn, influence him so much. I loved the image of your daughter being a heap of giggles. How cute! I can totally see my kids in those images too. Lovely post. #familyfun

    • For all their quirks and unique traits, the fundamentals of kids are all the same. They love to do what they want, they love to giggle and they love to have cuddles! Thanks for stopping by. So lovely to hear that this post resonated with you. It’s hard to find the positive on some days but there is always something! x

  • Awww, how lovely. Even on those tough days, a little smile or cuddle makes it so worth it. Being a mum is wonderful.
    #fortheloveofBLOG
    Ali Duke recently posted…The First Half-Term Of Senior School Is OverMy Profile

    • Definitely. Sometimes you really have to want to see those silver-lining moments but you can usually find something 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting x

  • Lovely post, it’s all worth it when you see how amazing the bond is between you both! #KCACOLS

    • Definitely is, although had to remind myself of my own words yesterday when we’d had a terrible night and I seemed to have offended her in some way so kept getting hit, ignored and pushed out of rooms! Thanks for your comment x

  • This is a lovely sweet post. It is easy to write lots of posts about the hard parts of parenting but sometimes it’s even better to remember that there are loads of lovely things too! #kcacols
    The Mum Reviews recently posted…What is up with Bonfire Night? A guide for foreignersMy Profile

  • What a lovely post. It can be really hard being a parent but those precious moments make it all worthwhile. Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG
    A Mum Track Mind recently posted…Review JoJo Maman BĂŠbĂŠ Autumn OffersMy Profile

    • Definitely. We’re really up-and-down right now because she’s developing so fast again. So I’m trying to hold on to the little things! Thanks for your comment x

  • This is such a beautiful earnest post, the story of your frustrations and joys could be my own. It is the smallest of moments that remind me why I relish and love being a mum. my son brought me a tissue when I sneezed the other day, it was the smallest gesture but just made my heart bleed. You sound like such an amazing mummy. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday x
    Jade The Parenting Jungle recently posted…5 Ways Kids Stress Out Their Parents & 5 Ways Parents Manage Kid-Stress.My Profile

    • That’s such an adorable thing your son did. Like you with my experiences, that’s the sort of thing my daughter would do. They learn their affection from their parents and carers so you must be an amazing and kind mummy too 🙂 thanks for your lovely comment x

  • Sometimes I almost feel as though I love my daughter more during the tough times. It’s those times (like when they are sick) that they need us the most. Glad you’re loving motherhood and looking for all the positives. I try to do the same.
    #KCACOLS

    • I know exactly what you mean. Mummy often ends up bearing the brunt of all and every annoyance
      You know they love you but it’s nice to have the odd reminder. I don’t think others around you realise the impact your child’s dismissive behaviour can have on you! Thanks for reading and commenting x

  • Oh this is lovely, we all need a bit of a soppy reminder sometimes, that being a mum is pretty amazing! x #KCACOLS

  • There really is nothing like being a parent. I love my kids to pieces event though they are often challenging! #kcacols
    Rainbows are too beautiful recently posted…Two changes of direction, two write offsMy Profile

  • Aww so lovely! Being a Mum is so so hard but yet so rewarding too! We all need a good cry every now and then x #KCACOLS

  • Aaaah, this is such a lovely post. One that I can completely relate to. Parenting and being a mother is so up and down. I’ve been where you’ve been and it never ends, that feeling of exhaustion and overwhelm one moment and then immense love and happiness the next 🙂 Such a lovely post, thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily

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About Me

About Me

Hello, I'm Angela. I'm Mum to two small people (3 & 0). I'm a Techie, Gardener, cake lover and tea addict. I'm trying to get our family to live a more sustainable life. I also have far too many opinions...hence the blog. You can read more about me here. You can also follow me on Twitter so you never miss a post. Hope you enjoy reading!

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