I, the Baby, am entitled to
- Request food from Mummy at any moment of the day;
- Refuse said food if it isn’t exactly what I want at that point in time in one or more of the following ways:
- Throwing it on the floor, at the wall or at Mummy;
- Screaming, shouting or crying;
- Smashing the food to a pulp with both hands.
- Take complete and utter offence, and be permitted to cry, kick and punch, when Mummy puts me through any of the following violations:
- Changing my nappy;
- Undressing me;
- Putting me in clean clothes;
- Taking away tubes of cream I was playing with because I put them in my mouth when they are apparently “dangerous”.
- Being transported around in one of the following ways at any given time, with an immediate change should a deem it necessary regardless of time or location:
- Buggy;
- Mummy’s arm
- Mummy’s shoulder;
- My own feet with Mummy’s hand(s) being held at any angle of my choosing.
- Make it very clear when I am in need of sleep by screaming, shout or crying;
- Having demanded a sleep, decide I have more energy than I realised and play in my cot, sit-up and stand-up as I see fit for as long as I like instead of sleeping;
- Throw my toys out of my cot and for it to be accepted as Mummy’s fault that I can’t reach them to get them back myself;
- Move around the house as freely as I like and do the following:
- Open any cupboard doors or drawers that take my fancy;
- Investigate the contents of any bags left within my reach;
- Get hold of any electrical gadgets left unattended;
- Explore any areas of the house that I am told I shouldn’t be going in to because they are “dangerous”. (But are obviously really full of hidden secret toys and snacks that Mummy & Daddy don’t want to share.)
- Do anything else I fancy at any point.
You, the Mummy, are entitled to
- Uphold the Baby Charter;
- Feel happy about it.