Yesterday afternoon (a Monday depending on when I post this), I was out in the garden with Little H and Little Z. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was 5:10pm. In my head I silently whooped because I’d made it almost to bedtime. And then I realised I’d done that and that, in fact, everyday I am looking after both the girls together I get that same feeling! Not because I dislike looking after them both, nor because I find it impossible to look after them. But because the days are just so bone-tiring!
I stand-by what I said in my earlier post – I am finding being a mother of two much easier than I had anticipated so far. It doesn’t stop it from being quite exhausting though. I tried to explain it to Sam when he looked concerned about my levels of tiredness – the entire day with two of them is just a continual juggle of their needs. But because of their differing ages, their needs are incredibly different.
Little Z is on a cycle of approx 2 -3 hours of feeding, playing and then sleeping. With some nappy changes thrown in of course. Little H on the other hand needs continual entertainment, excessive numbers of snacks and likes to throw in quite a few strops. So by the time I have dealt with one of them, I have to get up and sort out the next demand of the other. My brain is continually running through the check list of things they both need to stay well whilst by body is up-and-down every 10 minutes, often carrying around 6kg+ of Little Z. Nothing mothers (or parents) before me haven’t dealt with before but something I am still not used to.
Perhaps it’s not unexpected that I take each day as a small victory. With small children, it’s impossible not to live in the here and now. Even when I just had Little H to look at there were plenty of days where I looked at the clock only to silently sigh because it’s still only 2:15pm. But as she got older, it got a bit easier. All the gaps which are now filled with Little Z activities were the occasions where pre-Little Z I used to sit on the sofa with a cuppa and rest my feet. As time passes, I fully expect I will mentally and physically continue to adapt and get used to the juggles of two. Then hopefully some of those gaps will start to re-appear too. Until then though, I’ll keep taking these daily victories. And sneaking in a cup of tea whenever I can!