When sharing isn’t caring

One of Little H’s favourite expressions right now is “Sharin’ is carin'”. She usually chucks it out there when someone isn’t sharing with her and conveniently forgets when we’re asking her to share more openly with her sister. But anyway, this phrase popped into my head when I sat down to start typing-up some thoughts I’ve been having since the start of the year on sharing information about my children. Now since we became parents, Sam and I have been quite clear that our children won’t feature of social media – not in photos, nor in name. I have routinely written about Little H and then Little Z on my blog, but again never by name and any always with sensitive details (birthday, nursery, school) removed.

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One of the most obvious areas of my site where I write about my girls is where I share quarterly updates on their development: What Little H Did (originally monthly) and Tales of Little Z. Since Little H was 18 months old I have enjoyed capturing key developmental milestones, amusing things she has said or done and key experiences in her life. It was inevitable when Little Z arrived that I would do the same so her record has existed from birth. However, over recent months I have felt more aware of what I am writing in Little H’s updates.

You see when Little H was small, everything I shared about her was “standard” and expected: learning to walk; learning to talk; learning to draw, write; potty train; move to a big bed. None of what I shared felt like I was sharing too much of her, anything which made her significantly different to other kids her age. Even random phrases she came out with just felt like words of a cute and endearing toddler or pre-schooler.

Now she is five and at school and I no longer feel that sharing what she does and says is right. School sees children entering into a world of measurement and comparison, far more the Early Years trackers of pre-school and nursery. I know that I wouldn’t want a detailed record of my previous strengths and weaknesses in my learning so it doesn’t sit right with me. Alongside that, the things she now says and jokes about feel like they provide a much more intimate view of her growing personality. Whilst I want to remember them for sharing in the future, I don’t want others to be able to find them.

So with the most recent post of What Little H Did, I have brought her series of updates to a close. I intend to keep Little Z’s updates going through until she turns 5 and then I will do the same for her. I hope that when they are older they’ll find some interest and amusement in what I captured of their infant years. But from now on I’ll record Little H’s memories embedded in other posts or keep them away from here all together.

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About Me

About Me

Hello, I'm Angela. I'm Mum to two small people (5 & 2). I'm a Gardener, am houseplant obsessed and addicted to tea. By day I work in tech and also look after my littles. I'm trying to get our family to live a more sustainable life. I also have far too many opinions...hence the blog. You can read more about me here. You can also follow me on Twitter so you never miss a post. Hope you enjoy reading!

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